Beautiful Burden

I’m taking an unnatural amount of selfies. Some of them are even filtered, which I am slightly ashamed of. You won’t see me dropping a bunch of puppy dog ear pictures or that one filter that makes you look 25 again, the bags are gone from under my eyes and the smile lines that I laughed so hard for are gone. It even takes that tiny freckle/mole that’s next to my nose.

That’s what I hate about filters. It takes a lot of bad stuff to make you cute, but what about the little ‘flaws’ about myself that I think are supposed to be seen? Who determines what’s supposed to be bad?

At the beginning of my last pregnancy, I strongly believed I’d be getting a tummy tuck. I planned it, we came in an agreement that if I’d lost a certain amount of weight I could finally look acceptable.

Up until about four or five months ago, I planned to remove my belly. I had this image in my head that losing this physical flaw would change everything that was wrong in my life. If I got this new body, everything would change for the better.

One day that idea changed. One day I didn’t look at my body anymore as destroyed. This was my boys’ first home and last for one of them. Would I be destroying something sentimental to me, just to be acceptable to, who? Is it silly to become attached to my body and her secrets?

I’m genuinely asking. Is it silly to love something that others will see as a terrible flaw that should be removed? It’s my body, right? I can love it however I want, right?

I’m all for plastic surgery, all for people doing anything they want to their bodies, but seriously postpartum moms, what is your belly to you, a badge or a burden?


And not that it even matters, but guys, what do you think? Not that it even matters though.

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