We get it, Brock. You hate periods.

My biggest share wasn’t even created by me.

 

Let me just pile that onto my crippling imposter syndrome.

 

But It sparked a “heavy flow” of emotion from our male counterparts. In the words of the mighty Janet Jackson, it was

 

Heavy like a first day period.

 

So real quick I would like a huge favor from any female who reads this:

Please answer in the comments section a simple yes or no. Feel free to add a story, I’d love to hear it and I’m sure a lot of us wouldn’t feel so alone.

 

Have you lied about having your period to escape having sex?

 

Simple question, just a yes or a no, I just wanna prove the dudebros who actually read the entire article outside of its provocative title a point.

 

When I was a teenager my parents spoiled me, and I’m grateful. I had a billion magazine subscriptions; two of them being Seventeen and Teen Vogue. Mad Magazine was my favorite though, and I need to revive that immediately.

 

Anyways, those two teen girl mags answered some questions I didn’t always wanna ask my mom, or the moms I babysat for. One that I still use today is the question above.

 

If I’m ever in a situation where I feel uncomfortable just saying No to sex, I’ll say I’m on my period.

 

Because contrary to popular belief, sometimes No doesn’t always work. In fact, I’ve yelled an almost terrified “I’m on my period!” at a frat boy that sent him in the other direction saying “eeewwwww” when my “No” was met with a “stop being a tease”. Suddenly I’m a stupid bitch for not letting him know beforehand that I was on my period. Because that’s his business.

 

“Yes, this trashcan punch you gave me is delicious, Brock. By the way, I’m on my period so you’d have better luck chasing the girls in white lace shorts tonight… Not me, in the long black billowing skirt and the crow sitting on my shoulder.”

 

So, thanks to Seventeen or Teen Vogue, you got me out of a few sticky situations that I will likely be told were my fault for being caught up in the first place. Cause according to dudes I’m slutty, and slutty girls are public property. Back to Seventeen and Teen Vogue, right after I use the word slutty, If you ever want a writer who celebrated every period with you in my bathtub all afternoon ( God I was so spoiled I miss it) Please contact me. Or maybe send me somebody I can contact, it will be fun, I promise!

 

So, this is about periods. And how we use them to gross out dudes who find them gross enough to avoid.

 

See what I did there?

 

Read that above. WE USE OUR PERIODS TO GROSS OUT DUDES WHO FIND THEM GROSS ENOUGH TO AVOID

 

So, Brock, if you’re not grossed out by periods, guess what, young man?

 

NOBODY ASKED YOU

 

ESPECIALLY YOU

 

So before you spark up your forearms for something other than your embarrassing browser history that you even have on your phone……

 

Realize that this isn’t about you. In fact, sweeping in to defend your fellow man when it comes to us using our periods as a defense mechanism towards unwanted sexual advances (by the way this is often the last resort) only shines a bright waving red flag letting us know that we need to stay away. So if you decide to comment an argument or explanation as to why I’m wrong, please ask yourself and maybe even type yes or no in the comments

 

Do you want all of us to know that you’re offended that we are speaking publicly about something you may have experienced yourself?  If this is where you’d like an apology for every girl who refused sex because of her period, let me give it to you.

Just Kidding.

Ask yourself. Is Shannon talking about me, as a person? Does Shannon know who I am, and do I care about Shannon that much that I need to tell her why she’s wrong? Or am I just swingin in like Tarzan to take a swing at a woman with my bare but possibly dirty thumbs? Yeah, you sound like a great guy. ” Not all guys what?”

One, two, three, four

I declare a thumb war.

Okay, Tarzan.

Me, Shannon.

You, Person No One Asked.

I get told that I hate men a lot, it’s usually the last thing they yell. It’s truly not that; I just hate when people, in general, overstep my boundaries and get offended when I want the boundary honored. It’s easy to sound and look angry when you’re saying something people don’t want to contemplate to the point where they explain why my EXPERIENCE is wrong.

 

This isn’t even an opinion for you to argue. It’s an experience that most women have endured.

 

In fact, ask ya boi Google about the women who cut their thighs to make men think they’re bleeding. They mutilate themselves so that men won’t rape them. You ever have to cut yourself to make a person think you were too gross to rape? OOhh or the ones who even wore tampons to keep from being molested by a family member. That’s a thing too.

Take a look at that meme. Got shared way more than anything I’ve ever written, and my ego is taking it hard. It was shared by mostly women who felt the same way but argued by men who felt targeted.

 

Yo, me and Sam are about to talk about online behavior soon. If you didn’t see that shitshow of dudes explaining their right to harass a woman in her DM’s on his page you should check it out.

 

After that, I’ll have a chicken or the egg conversation and see who is protecting themselves from whom because I know that I’m a dangerous one to play with and no one leaves me unscathed. I’m not perfect and I’m terrifying but so is everyone else. We are all out here trying to get hurt the least but at some point where do we all make it safe for all of us to date?

 

I’d rather be smashin’ a dude than bashin’ him.

 

But ya’ll out here playin, and some of us are strong and hurt enough to play just as rough.

So here’s the deal, we been having our periods under control

When the F are you gonna get the rape problem under control?

Unless you’re trying to get us raped less please take a seat.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Mary Kate Harkreader says:

    YES!! I feel this so hard.

    Like

  2. Ellen says:

    Yes!!!!

    Like

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